


Trap Doors

by peanutbutter_ricecups



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Child Abuse, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, I'm sorry Ryuji, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-13 14:46:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14750888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peanutbutter_ricecups/pseuds/peanutbutter_ricecups
Summary: Ryuji's disappearance takes a greater toll on the team, than any of them would think. With a missing thief, Akira struggles coping with the loss of the heart of their team.All the while, Ryuji tries to keep it together long enough for them to find him.





	1. Prologue

Somedays Ryuji would go quiet. He’d prop his elbow on the car door and stare out pensively, whenever asked what was up he’d shrug and say nothing.

Ann brought up that he occasionally got lost in thought; _“not in a ‘this is too much’ way but ‘like, I need a second to clear my head and think things through’.”_

It didn’t make sense to Morgana as he adamantly denied Ryuji could ever think anything through, but everyone else gave a nod in understanding; his emotions always working in extremes it made sense to need a small break to refresh and ready for the next onset of them. The explanation helped, but didn’t stop the edge of worry in Akira whenever the boisterous teen suddenly went quiet and stared out the window.

Around the end of June he exceeded all previous space out times with a solid week of quiet. Even Morgana was getting antsy as he all together stopped responding to his playful jabs.

It was decided unanimously that Akira and Ann would be the ones to confront him; Ann knowing him the longest and Akira being his closest friend.

They agreed to meet up with him after class and ask him out for a movie then dinner. All set with the proper cash to treat him to both, they found out during lunch that he hadn’t shown up to school and so the plan got pushed.

Then pushed again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

After that first day, Ryuji stopped answering his phone altogether. It took some time wearing down his homeroom teacher; it took _a lot_ of sweet talking from Akira, Ann and Makoto to get any information, but even that was vague and hardly helpful; “problems with his family, an outline was given to him about what would be due when he returned, but I was told not to expect him back for a month though.”

Makoto’s eyes widened in shock, unable to contain her surprise but still able to catch herself to ask follow up question.

Ann couldn’t contain it as well. “What?! That’s impossible,” She cried. “He would of-” Told them about this is what she wanted to say, but he’d been so quiet lately none of them believed he’d ever mention such an intense thing and so she bit her tongue before it could come out.

“Well... it isn’t official,” his teacher sighed. “but I’m supposed to get information on whether he’ll be returning at all in two weeks.”

None of what was said was taken lightly. When the three made their way back towards headquarters, heads hung low in dismay, they relayed the information back to the others who reacted in a similar way.

Choking on her breath, Futaba grabbed her hair and looked between them. “Two weeks!?” Futaba exclaimed. “How is that possible!?”

“I-I agree, to think such monumental information could have a deadline so soon.” Yusuke said.

Futaba tugged a little harder on her hair, Haru had to place a hand over them to get them to stop. Holding her breath then letting it out as Haru guided, she fiddled with her glasses instead. “To think if you hadn’t of pressed the teachers... he would have just disappeared without letting us know...”

“Well,” Makoto began, level headed and holding back all emotion to keep herself sensible. “Regardless of how we’ve come to know, we know now and can do something about it.” 

“Can we though? All we know is that he might return to school next month, but his teacher didn’t even seem too sure either.” Ann said. “Not to mention he’s not answering his phone.”

Akira attempted to school his expression as Makoto had, but he couldn’t quite keep the worry and hesitance out of his voice. “We need to stay positive. Ryuji wouldn’t just run away without warning.”

Haru grimaced. “Then... is it possible something could have happened to him?”

“We can’t strike that possibility out. There’s a chance he could have gotten into an accident and can’t contact us.” Morgana said.

“I don’t think it’s just that though, he’s been quiet for nearly a week prior to leaving school. It wasn’t just a ‘clearing his mind and thinking’ kind of silence too.” Makoto said.

Akira nodded. “I agree,” but he didn’t know how to continue off of that. Everyone sat in silence with their heads hung in annoyance from not speaking up sooner and confronting him about this earlier even though the signs were clear this was different.

After some time Ann tensely lifted her head, brow tense and her jaw set. Her voice came out far too anxious for anyone’s liking. “Now that I think about it... something like this has happened once before.” Nobody speaks, Ann pulls at her fingers and is quick to correct herself. “Not to this extent of course!... But, one week in June, back in middle school he wouldn’t speak. Teachers would tease him for suddenly going so quiet, but he wouldn’t even respond to that... Nearing the end of it, I once heard him on the phone with someone; they were yelling on the other line so it wasn’t hard to overhear their conversation.”

“Could it have possibly been his mother?” Yusuke asks.

“No... I don’t think so. She doesn’t seem the type to do that. It was way too deep too, kind of like a man?”

“Then... could it have been his father?”

Everybody held their breath, Haru choked out, “His... abusive one?”

“I don’t think it can be anybody else.” Yusuku grimaced.

Ann shook her head, “Back then, yeah, most likely; but Ryuji said his father never looked back after leaving. This time it has to be someone else.”

That _someone else_ left a bitter taste in Akira’s mouth. Someone else must be putting Ryuji in the same position he felt back when his father was around; forced into silence. Someone forcing him into the proverbial corner where he _knows_ speaking up won’t do shit for him. “Then who’s taken his father’s place?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got a couple chapters written already, just polishing everything up! I'm figuring out plot and stuff as I go so I don't trap myself into a multi-chapter fic I don't like anymore.
> 
> I look forward to posting and seeing what you guys think of this fic as it goes!
> 
> I did my best with the first chapter but setting scenes is a weakness of mine that I'm working on, the rest won't read like this it goes a *lot* slower, haha!


	2. Where They Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone feels useless.

Akane Sakamoto stood quietly behind the counter of the twenty-four hour grocery store. She tried to focus on the brand name of the new potato-chips they’ve started selling, but the corners of her eyes keep blurring with tears whenever she’d read ones Ryuji would like.

In her head, she could hear him clearly with that sweet voice of his say,  _ “Make sure they’re still in stock when I come back!” _

It’d make her head spin and nose hurt. Every can of soda she sold was a reminder that her baby wasn’t there for her to scold and offer seltzer water to.

_ “It tastes like  _ ass _ though!” _ Language, Ryu, please.  _ “Sorry, ma... it’s just not the same without sugar.” _

It hurt. Oh man did it hurt; but when her boss offered her time off to pull it together and try again when she was ready, she could swear her heart physically ached at the suggestion.

What was the point in taking a break?

What would she even do?

Her nest was empty and with only one person in the apartment it’s as clean as the day they moved in (she missed all the dirty dishes and stacks of manga on the living room table). Resting hurt too much when she knew Ryuji wouldn’t be coming home tired but with just enough energy to sit through cheesy dramas with her; unwilling to admit he loved them just as much as she did. 

What was the point in enjoying herself when her baby was suffering?

No.

She needed to save up for when Ryuji came back. She would treat him to sushi and hot pot and ramen and whatever dessert he’d like when he’d come back. She couldn’t do any of that if she gave up and shut down now.

Her boss was right in saying this store would be her prison and the soda fridge her cell; so help her she would do all she can now to make Ryu’s come back as extravagant and loud as he is.

Her baby would get the pampering he deserves, but she wouldn’t be able to do that if she didn’t have the money to back it.

She would hold it together and do what she can; but no matter how she looked at it, Yoshida’s sad grey eyes would cross her mind and pierce her heart over and over again with the gentle but empty “I’m sorry, Sakamoto-kun is busy at the moment. Please go home,” said behind a locked red door.

In the back of her head she could almost hear Ryuji muttering behind her, _ “I don’t like her” _ , because she didn’t like her either.

But she couldn’t worry about that now, the chip display needed to be restocked.

* * *

Makoto frowned down at their notes, looking over all the possible answers she could have thought up last night. “We should try contacting his mother again.”

Ann huffed, “Her voicemail is full and she’s not responding to any of my messages. If Ryuji not being is this hard on us, I can’t imagine what she must be going through right now... I just don’t see the point in bothering a grieving mother.”

“Then what else is there? The teachers have told us all they know, how could we possibly help if we have no clue where he is?”

Ann threw her hands up in the air and leaned back into the diner’s seat. “I don’t know! I just, don’t know; how do you look for someone who’s fallen off the face of the earth?”

“Well, he couldn’t have just  _ fallen off _ , their has to be a  _ trail _ somewhere.”

Futaba frowned into her drink. “I’m looking everywhere I can online, whatever’s happening it’s happening on paper. It’s either all really new, and nobodies made digital copies... or somebody planned this all out to make him hard to find.” Potentially the same somebody from Ann’s confession yesterday.

Akira wasn’t about to say it out loud, but it was impressive how far that someone has gone to make it difficult for him to trace. He likely wasn’t in any immediate danger or the news would be buzzing, but that didn’t mean they could just it off either. “What about meeting her in person?” He asked.

Ann shook her head, “I tried visiting her house, but she’s never their these days… even the neighbors started getting worried.”

“Hmm… then, do you know where she works?”

Ann shook her head again but Futaba was quick to raise her hand to answer. “I can find out, it’ll take a while but I can do it no problem.”

Makoto sighed, content to have a starting point now at least. “Like Ann said, she’s probably in a really vulnerable state right now with her son practically missing, so maybe Ann should visit her alone.”

All six nodded, on the same page and eager to move but unsure of where to go. Haru was the first to voice her annoyance in being so useless, “Is that really all we can do? Even if did meet with his mother, who’s to say even  _ she _ knows what’s going on?”

“I know what you mean,” Morgana responded solemnly. “But we can’t afford to think like that right now. There's no doubt whoever’s doing this to him has a shadow… maybe even a palace; until we know for sure what’s going on, we can only work on getting information before taking any direct action.”

Haru sighed inaudibly and forced a smile on her face (or at least tried to look less sad), “You’re right. I shouldn’t be so negative. No matter how useless we may feel right now, there’s no doubt Ryuji must be feeling even worse all by himself.”

Though she was right, Akira was quick to dismiss her comment. Just thinking about how Ryuji must be suffering alone brought an unbearable tightness to his chest. He wasn’t blind to how big of an impact Ryuji has had on his life. Not a day went by where he didn’t miss the bright smile and charmingly obnoxious greeting he’d get everyday.

While he wasn’t as pushy or a borderline bully as some of the Phantom Thieves, he can’t help but feel as though he’d failed him just as bad. The signs were their and he, as his best friend, should have noticed early on and taken action.

There was no way to compare his inaction to that of whoever was causing such a scene to begin with, nor would it be right, but that didn’t stop the guilt from creeping into his conscious every time he was reminded of the empty space by his side.

“It’s not fair to us either blaming ourselves for what happened,” Morgana said, as if reading his mind. “The best thing we can right now is to follow through, and prepare ourselves for when it’s time to get moving”

“Right…” Makoto agreed. “I think now is a good stopping point for today. For the rest of the day maybe focus on personal health too, before all this stress gets a chance to take its toll on us.”

They all nodded, unanimously agreeing that this was enough for the day and that they’d take it easy; but even then none were able to get a proper night's sleep. 


	3. Behind Closed Doors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryuji in the bathroom.

Ryuji sat on the bathroom counter, feet resting on the toilet seat lid. He was entering his sixth hour locked in and slowly driven mad.

Bonking his head against the mirror behind him, he contemplated turning off the light and risking a nap; then again the old hag would likely take that as a challenge and cut the lights so he couldn’t turn them back on after.

He stared at his fingernails, then picked at his cuticles, and bit them as far as they could go before repeating the cycle again with his other hand two minutes later.

He thought about how much Ann would piss at him for biting them. Somehow, the thought of hearing her yell at him was comforting.

“ _It's unsanitary! Your hands touch everything, why would you even consider putting them in your mouth? Not to mention how gross they look in the end!”_

The thought of her nagging him over it spurred him on in some roundabout way. He continued to bite and bite, until he'd reached the pink part of each nail.

It stung to make a fist or grab anything with the tips of his fingers, but the pain was a nice reminder of what he'd receive once all this was over: a scolding from a friend.

* * *

Nine hours in, he cupped his hands against the faucet and drank some more water. His stomach couldn’t handle anymore, but it was either fill up with water or cave like she wanted and beg for food; too bad for her that was on incredibly high on ‘Would Rather Die Than Ever Do Again’ list.

Right behind that sat shopping with Akira and Yusuke (there tastes clashed horribly), in a moment of sentimentality he mentally scratched it off and added it onto his new list of ‘Things to Do When Out of this Shithole’.

Forcing down another hand full of water, Ryuji tried not to think about how nice it’d be to have something solid in his stomach.

* * *

Twelve hours in and he was hyper focused on any sound made behind that tacky blue door.

It was simultaneously too loud and too quiet; spending so much time alone made him terribly sensitive to everything. What didn’t help was how loud Yoshida’s shoes clacked whenever she passed by. Every step she took filled him with annoyance and frustration for his situation. Where she learned the art of how he didn’t know, but loathed so much.

Every ten minutes or so he'd hear Yoshida pass by; the click of her heels an unfortunately difficult sound to miss. Every step she took filled him with annoyance and he'd clamp his hands over his ears to stop the noise, but her steps held so much power that he just couldn't tune them out; especially when they were the only sound available in that damned bathroom.

Though not as obnoxiously loud, he'd also hear the other kids pass by too. He'd be able to hear them down the hall faintly, but once they were close enough for him to be able to listen to they'd stop. No stutters in their steps or hiccups in their conversations, the other kids would walk past his door in silence then pick up where they left off once they were a good distance away.

He wondered if she trained them to do that or if they were just malicious out of free will.

Deep down he knew it was the former, but the ugly part of him couldn't help but consider the latter.

* * *

“Sakamoto-kun!” Yoshida cooed behind the door. “Please come out already, we’re all worried about you! I set you a place at the table for dinner! Please join us, you must be starving by now!”

He sighed hard and exhausted. Twelve hours under his belt, he was craving anything in his stomach; denied breakfast and lunch, the thought of potentially having dinner immediately drew him out of his stupor but wasn’t enough to make him compliant. “I’d rather starve than sit with you.”

When she didn’t reply, Ryuji tucked his head back between his knees. His head hurt from having the fluorescent lights glaring against him all day. He rubbed his temples, having trouble remembering if he heard her walk away or not when she spoke up again feigning concern. “If that’s what you want sweetheart… I won’t force you into eating. Maybe you’ll feel better by tomorrow.”

* * *

He didn’t remember when he fell asleep, just that his stomach finally settled into having nothing in it and he was able to focus on something other than the gnawing feeling. His body felt disgustingly heavy and light not having anything solid in his stomach.

Ryuji grabbed the watch he smothered between the towels (it’s ticking too loud) and checked the time.

Three a.m.

It wasn’t even morning yet.

How much longer would he have to sit here? Alone in a bathroom, without any food and only tap water to drink. This wasn't right, he'd been told _before_ this wasn't right and yet Ryuji still always found himself trapped behind a locked door; hidden away and kept out of social circles like some kind of animal.

He'd already made peace with who he was and Captain Kidd was a manifestation of that acceptance, yet being back to square one he couldn't help the nasty feelings building all over again.

His dad might has well have never left, Kamoshida may as well have never broken his legs, maybe he shouldn't have ever met Akira and become a Phantom Thief if it all meant he'd just end right back where he started.

The hunger was bad, but it was always the loneliness that'd get to him. He rubbed his eyes until his surroundings got blurry and gave a shaky exhale.

He really wanted his mom.

* * *

“Sakamoto-kun!” Yoshida called, “Tada-chan made pancakes this morning if you’d like some! We all miss you and would really like to see you today!”

Ryuji didn’t even move, finally finding someone unworthy of being told off.

She didn't seem to like his lack of response and knocked again, “Sakamoto-kun?” She said, voice laced with false concern. “Are you alright in there?”

“Piss. Off.” He hissed.

He heard her sigh behind the door and he curled in tighter around himself, weirdly cautious of what she was about to say. “I’ll drop by for dinner, see if you’re hungry by then. Please come out soon.”

* * *

Lunch was brutal. He sat in suspense wondering when she’d drop by for dinner. His watch ticked on but this time too quickly. Ryuji would blink and suddenly twenty minutes would pass. When it turned seven p.m., he sat patiently waiting for her to come by so he could tell her to go away again.

She didn’t come by however, and when it turned nine he started fiddling with the watch.

But it wasn’t slow or out of sync, she just decided not to come by.

* * *

“Sakamoto-kun, your mother stopped by today.”

He eyed the time; four p.m.

“She really misses you Sakamoto-kun, please come out. You’re only here until you get better. Please don’t do this to her.”

Ryuji didn’t have it in him to respond. He was tired and just wanted to go home and be with her. He just wanted his phone to call his friends.

“Sakamoto-kun? Are you alright in there?” Yoshida said gently. “Please tell me your ready to come out…”

Her pleading didn’t draw out a response. She didn’t deserve one nor did he have the energy to properly tell her to go away at that moment.

Yoshida sighed deeply and Ryuji watched her shadow shift side to side. “Don’t worry, Sakamoto-kun.” She said, soft and sweet. “No matter how long it takes I’ll wait for you, just take all the time you need. I'll be here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alt title: Ryuji is sad

**Author's Note:**

> I've got a couple chapters written already, just polishing everything up! I'm figuring out plot and stuff as I go so I don't trap myself into a multi-chapter fic I don't like anymore.
> 
> I look forward to posting and seeing what you guys think of this fic as it goes!
> 
> I did my best with the first chapter but setting scenes is a weakness of mine that I'm working on, the rest won't read like this it goes a *lot* slower, haha!


End file.
